you would pick up someone in the library
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
