All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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