just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize