He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
