i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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