dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
