Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
tell me about the eggs
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
