even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
