I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
