i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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