this just has baby written all over it
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
