that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
