I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
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