So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
