i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
