it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
