so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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