sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
No stitches, just platelets and will power
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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