$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
