And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
