If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
