Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
