Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize