she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
