Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
