I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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