...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
