I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Randomize
