It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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