I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
