so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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