I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Holy shit dude........stairs
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
