no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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