we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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