I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
