wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
