Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
