I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
