I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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