Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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