The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
