3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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