You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
