i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
