there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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