I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
