Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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