I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
