there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
