I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
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