When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
