my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
soo... how was my night?
Randomize