I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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