I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
