So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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