Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
