it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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