is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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