Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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