we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
