it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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