Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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