it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize