Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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