So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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