thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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