who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
