real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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