Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
